The Lonely Planet: Thoughts on Solo Travel

I backpacked South America by myself from April 29 through June 2 of this year. Consisting of 5 weeks of travel in the countries of Colombia, Bolivia, and Peru, the idea for this trip first entered my mind in mid March, and I was on a plane a month later. In a way, though, this trip had always been on my mind; I'd been looking for a reason to go abroad ever since I came back from a 3 month European backpacking trip in 2007. I was laid off and waitressing, waiting to start school all over again in the summer, I had the miles, I had the time, I (barely, not really) had the money, I had no responsibility to any living thing, so I had no excuses not to go.

So I went. And I came back. And I needed some time to think about those travels, and reflect on them, and process questions people had when I was down there and when I came back. Solo travel is oftentimes misunderstood (unless you've done it, of course, but honestly I only have two friends who are nuts enough to have done it, too) so I wanted to reflect on the South America part, the backpacking part, and the misconceptions part, all through the lens of a solo traveler.

It's Not That Big of a Deal
Seriously. I had a friend facetiously say, "How cool are you going to be when you come back from South America?" And the answer is, I'm definitely not cooler. It's a lot like any big experience you've had in your life (maybe college graduation?) that you didn't share with the people that are currently around you. Your life moves on, and it was something cool that you did, but it's not curing cancer. You can go to South America by yourself (yes, you, reader) - anyone can.

People Don't Know What The Hell They Are Talking About
Nine out of ten people shit their pants on some level when I told them I was going abroad, alone, to South America. Unless they had actually been to South America, then they gave me some good tips and said, "You'll have an incredible time." It got really annoying after awhile. No, the FARC was not waiting for me when I got off my plane in Colombia. Yes, I did see some sketchy shit - like loads of policemen in uniforms with huge guns - but walking around on East Colfax in Denver is just as sketchy, just not as in your face obvious. People that have never been abroad were especially resistant to my trip and didn't even take the time to look up the countries I was traveling to - they just wanted to close their eyes like a scary movie. It is NOT that scary. And places that people don't think of as scary in their minds (Lima, I'm looking at you) were actually the worst.

Women Traveling Alone Won't Get Murdered
It's a ridiculously old fashioned idea that young, single, white women are going to be kidnapped and murdered in a foreign country. I was hardly alone - meeting other interesting travelers as I went - including many other solo female travelers. All of these women, like me, were just aching for adventure, and didn't want to sacrifice an opportunity because there wasn't anyone available to travel with us. Lonely Planet guidebooks have plenty of information and tips for solo female travelers, and, if you keep your wits about you as you would anywhere you are living, you'll be fine.

That Being Said....Sometimes It Was Scary
The first night, as I lay in bed in my hostal in Bogota, I conjured up an anxiety-induced stomach ache. All of a sudden it hit me - I was on a continent where I knew no one. I was really far away from my mom. I didn't speak the language. I was doing something really awesome, really brave and potentially really stupid. When I stepped onto the plane to Bogota, I was very nervous. Some of that thrill is part of the excitement, but some of it was draining. Being disoriented all of the time, trusting in strangers, learning by doing - not for the faint of heart.

Not Everyone is Cool
You would think that everyone you meet - especially those traveling solo - have got to be some of the coolest, most open minded, most interesting, most giving people on the planet, right? Not always. I did meet some incredible people, but I met equally as many idiots. Some people were just out to have a good time in a foreign country, with the guise of anonymous backpacking as an excuse to act like a complete jackass. I met two American guys my age that kept bragging about the incredible time they had a party in the Sacred Valley where, "A Peruvian girl totally shoved coke up my nose!" So you have a great story to tell your friends. You're still a dumbass. There are plenty of people that have never even left the country and lived someplace "boring" their entire lives in the USA that are more interesting than you. Just because you travel doesn't make you interesting, and just because you don't travel doesn't mean you aren't.

Surface Level Interactions Get Old
Sometimes you get lonely. Sometimes you want to share a meal, a laugh, an experience with someone else. And sometimes you don't. Because before you can do those things, you have to go through all of the same tedious conversation starters....my name is Erica and I am from Kansas originally and I'm 26 and when I go back I'm going to start school and my blood type is O positive....and then after all that banter you learn they are leaving tomorrow anyway so what's the point? After awhile, I quit getting last names, emails and Facebook friending folks I had met. I just decided instead to savor that time as unique, fleeting moments - adding to my collective experience of meeting people during my travels - and not seek any real substance out of it. That's when you really understand that...

Overall, You Truly Are Traveling Alone. And That's OK.
This is one of the coolest things I've ever done - and I did it by myself. I'm not ashamed to look back and say that I'm proud of myself for having the courage to seek out information, ask questions, learn some Spanish, and see some of the most incredible things there are to see in the world - alone. I truly winged it. I didn't know anyone that had been to Bolivia, and just planned my route through a combination of improvisation and other traveler's recommendations. It's exhilarating knowing that you could wake up anywhere you want tomorrow, and the only person deciding that is you. I've traveled with a significant other, now solo, and next I'd like to try a friend. But having the knowledge that I can do something on the scale of extended solo travel in a foreign country makes me giddy and is sheer liberation. I'm ok with the fact that I'm the only one that will remember what I saw down there in entirety.

People Act Like They Care, But They Don't
I'm not being morbid - it's just reality. I went down there knowing it was an experience I would have on my own, and that it would be extremely difficult to relate these things to people who hadn't seen what I'd seen or been where I'd been. For those that have, we have a new bonding point. Everyone else just sort of makes conversation by saying "South America, eh?" and looking at my pictures with glazed eyes. But most of my friends didn't even ask to see pictures, or really ask about this trip at all, or how it truly impacted me, beyond a few basic questions. It's hard to know what to ask - so I'm not faulting anyone - but it's truly something that you just experienced for yourself, because nobody else is going to know how to relate to something (literally) that foreign, and for many of my friends, what I did is just not even that interesting to them.

Yes, It Was Life Changing
I saw things that most people will only see in a National Geographic in their lifetime - The Amazon, Machu Picchu, Lake Titicaca, the list goes on. But I also had incredible experiences with the people I met along the way. Meeting my sponsored little girl, Yuranis, in Colombia, was quite possibly the highlight of my entire trip. Feeling the pulse of South America beyond the tourist hot spots were moments that were precious and few. I came back with even more appreciation for my own country and the opportunities I have here - as well as a deeper understanding that, at the end of the day, we are all very much the same, no matter where we are in the world, or what we look like, or what our religion is. We all want the same things: food, a warm bed, and a pair of smiling eyes and open hands to greet us each day. We all crave understanding and love. And that's what I adore about travel - the ability to communicate without email, without iphones and gadgets - understanding through body language, pantomime, and an effort to understand in a mixed English and Spanish conversation. That moment, that intense focus of concentration on understanding another person from such a different part of the world who looks so different from you, is the life changing moment. And it happens in unlikely places - with your cab driver in Medellin, Colombia; with a small Quechua child in the high Andes of Peru, with a guy selling shells on the beach or the Afro-Caribbean woman braiding your hair in tight little rows.

I will never forget that one time that I went to South America by myself. It's a story I will tell my kids with big exaggerations and loads of nostalgia - after that nice cloud that settles over times that were actually troublesome covers everything with a lovely, fuzzy shade of pink, and makes it the most incredible thing you did in your mid twenties. Truth is, it was not the most incredible thing; as I get older, I feel that I see more similarities than differences in the world, and because of this, the newness and shock factor didn't feel as profound as it did 4 years ago when I first went abroad, even though those countries and people looked and felt much more similar to my own than did any South American country.

It was badass. It was the adventure of a lifetime. It was life changing, and all that and yadda yadda and whatnot. But so is the life I am living now; so is every moment of every person's journey that we take every day. Your life and your journey is someone else's backpacking extravaganza. Each day is an adventure - even if it's not as in your face as living out of a backpack in a foreign country for months at a time. If I had to do it all over again, I would, and I will - with my next adventure tentatively planned as a Morocco - Egypt - Turkey - Greece - back to Croatia extravaganza before PA school. But who knows? Maybe by then there'll be public rocket launches to Mars, and I'll check that out.

My only advice? If you want to go someplace, go. If the only thing stopping you is that you can't go to the proverbial bathroom by yourself, snap out of it. You only have this one life to be lived, so get to living. The journey (yeah, it's cliche, and it's oh so true) is the reward.