Why We Need Men

I've been thinking about men lately - in all sorts of ways, and not just with regard to relationships. Very simply put, I think that we (collectively, but yes, in particularily as women) need men. Scientifically speaking, sperm banks, surrogate mothers, and successful parthenogenesis in mice (where an unfertilized egg retains two sets of chromosomes and acts as if it has been fertilized) would imply that we are moving further away from the idea that men are needed to create a family.

All of this crap, combined with a higher female to male ratio in master's programs than ever before, a decrease in payscale disparity, birth control, and a change in gender roles over the past 3o years, a dude might look around and think, "Hey, where's the need for me?" There is even scientific debate that the Y chromosome is becoming slowly, steadily, more and more defective - is the end of men in sight? Screw guys! I just wanna dance!

For what it's worth, I think the world would really, really suck without men. So all you male haters listen up. Before we prod on in "forgetting men" with genetic experiments, bitching about how they are awful listeners and smell horrendous, I'd like to list quite a few reasons I think that we need men. For starters, they are generally speaking, much more laid back creatures. They let things roll off their backs easier than women - no catty backstabbing, no crying during happy hour a few drinks in because of female-female work drama - just some beers, belches, and football to patch over any rough spots. Yes, they are the ones that usually are starting wars, but in one on one personal interactions, there is quite a bit to glean for personal interaction's sake.

They are physically stronger than us. They can open cans of pickles and jelly easier than most women. They can reach things that are really high on shelves. They can grill a steak or hamburger better than most girls I know - and that makes up for leaving the toilet seat up most of the time. They have much better circulation, so they can warm our dainty little girl hands. They know how to fix weird things with weird names on cars, bikes, garages, TVs. They can walk through the house and look for the boogie man when a scary noise happens. They can shovel the sidewalk and the walkways when it snows pretty fast, too.

I've always valued the opinions of the men in my life - my Dad's being number one, but my PaPa's is up there too, followed by my brother, of course, and other male family members. I like having a brother. When KU won the National Championship, I got knocked down flat onto the sidewalk in a literal stampede. Guess who appeared out of nowhere and grabbed me right off the concrete? My bigger than me (younger) brother. Guess who moved my stuff into my new place? My big, strong, Dad.

Guy friends are awesome, too. I've always had lots of guy friends to turn to when I want to try a great new stout, climb a flatiron on belay, and of course, bounce back and forth guy-girl drama with. Having guy friends who have always just been friends is especially comforting. There are times you just want some male companionship without the baggage. I've spent the night at my guy friend's houses, and had them spend the night on my couch as well, when I've been scared about sleeping in a house alone, or have been going through a breakup, or whatever. Sometimes you just need a laugh with a guy to help you remember how much you actually love men when you're also hating them.

Nobody can take the place of my mom, my sister, my girlfriends. But we do need men. We need them in all of their big footed, hairy, smelly, eating insane amounts of food, farting glory. So tell the men in your life how much you appreciate them, love them, and need them. Because grilling and cuddling with a girlfriend certainly ain't like the real thing.