Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

I decided to go back to school this past summer - and not just school, but basic, "Oh my God I'm taking classes with 18 year olds" school. I'm pursuing a career as a Physician Assistant, but to get to that point, I must first take the required pre-requisites in the hard sciences. And by hard, I don't mean just difficult, I mean not "soft" science that I took in college ("Insects in Your World") - but Microbiology, Genetics, Immunology, Endocrinology. So through this process I've learned some valuable lessons; being age 26 and taking tough courses is quite a different perspective than 20 and ready to frat after that, like, totally lame psych class.

It's Harder When You're Older
It's harder because my brain is a little slower. I am used to working with words, and have been for 8 years. I haven't taken a biology class dealing with the human body since I was 14. All of this works against me and the fact that I get tired a little easier, have to work even harder since I'm not under parental dependency, and decided to save the hardest crap for this time in my life. I hustled through college and it was more or less fun - waiting tables and going to school full time and being in a sorority and writing for the paper and dancing in the university dance company - but going full throttle at this point just makes me want to slap the girls bitching about how their mothers don't launder their bikinis properly in the face. Pictured: It ain't ever gonna get any easier than the first day of school ever. Big bows help the process.

It's Easier When You're Older
There's a very specific, higher purpose for the education I'm currently receiving. I'm not just taking classes to get a degree in a field that I'm really not sure I should be majoring in. Don't get me wrong - my time at KU was incredible and yes, hold some of my fondest memories. But I was too young to really think. I can count, off the top of my head, over twenty friends of mine that are doing the exact same thing; spent a few years at a lame office job, wanted something more out of life, and have totally switched gears and professions - requiring more and different schooling. Age, experience, the fact that I'm paying 100% for my own tuition, and maturity contribute to my ability to take class more seriously, focus a little harder, and strive for the best grades I can get. I'm not distracted by the hot JoCo frat boy in my Anthropology class, I don't want to just blow through that stupid Self Defense class to earn credits. Everything has a very specific purpose now, and I'm better equipped to handle that kind of responsibility because, well, I don't have 19 year old hormones raging through my body.

I Get Annoyed Much, Much Easier
Sometimes I feel, well, too much like an adult. But the fact is, I don't run into friends on my campus. I'm in, I'm out, I'm working between classes and it's basically all the shitty parts about school without any of the fun bits that keep you motivated to keep coming back every year. I'm glad I've passed that point, but at the same time, I get super annoyed when, during the first Microbiology lab, the 20 year old girls at my table start talking about their 29 year old sisters and how their biological clocks have just got to be ticking...they think I'm their age, but if they only knew, they would shower me with their pity because I'm 26 and single. I welcome pity, because I pity myself for listening to their unintelligent banter.

I've Had to Want This - And Prove It
My friend Jen summed it up best when she said, "I would be way too lazy to do all the backtracking you're doing." Amen, sister. PA School is ridiculously competitive. I've had to take the GRE, re-train my brain to think all science-y, forage again on a life of student loans and tuna, shadow multiple PA's, and get a job in the medical field. It hasn't been an easy transition. It's been much more multi-faceted than just "going back to school" or a grad program, it's been a complete 180 degree transformation. It's been a challenge, and I've been enjoying the hell out of it.

Sometimes I Feel Really, Really Stupid
It hurts your pride when you walk into a classroom, degree in hand, $50k salary per year in your past, and don't know the basic differences between an animal and a plant cell. There are kids that are almost a decade my junior that know way more than I do about a microscope and a bunsen burner. But I'm not afraid to ask questions or state that I don't know what the hell is going on. I'm smart too - and about things that maybe they aren't. A girl in one of my classes had never heard of Andy Warhol. Science isn't my specialty, strong suit, or a subject matter that comes easily. But I've learned to swallow my pride, open my eyes and ears, and dig on in - in fact, I really, really like it - more than I thought I ever would.

I'm Still Happy I Haven't Always Been a Science Nerd
All that being said - the trials and tribulations, the fact that I'll be in my mid-thirties when I'm done with this process, the intensity of the courses - I would never change the path I've walked down to get to this point. I fully believe that all the hats I've worn will, in the end, make me the best damn PA that ever came from a humble English degree. All the same, these days I really enjoy geeking out over a bacteria colony I grew, or seeing my cheek cells under a microscope, or determining blood types in the lab.

If you've ever thought about going back to school, making a change, pursuing a lurking passion - do it. It's hard, yeah, but it's worth it. I look back at what I was doing this time last year, and the contrasts are so stark it's like day and night. But I'm happier now. I'm proud that I took the chance, the leap, and hope that it might inspire you to do the same. It's never too late - and maybe it doesn't even take school - to push yourself a little further and connect a few new synapses. And trust me, don't let the fear of the dunce cap put you off. It's not that bad - in fact it looks great with my lab coat.